A Search for Self

I see people on the Internet chat groups abandoning all principles of Taiji Push Hands. Instead of a conversation they want an argument and they usually find one. I see them abandon all principles of Scientific Inquiry which should be an important component of our personal work. For instance I’ll say that something is a component of high level practice. They will respond that since this thing is a component of something else as well then I am wrong (There are cows in NH – No, there are cows in VT so there are no cows in NH). Of course furthermore it’s people like me that pollute this art, their teacher can beat up my teacher, I did not get the secret indoor teaching that they did, I study the wrong system or lineage, am not Chinese, that their no-ego system is better than my no-ego system. I swear to God I’m not making this up. Yeah, you can’t make that up because it’s too unbelievable. Of course it can be useful seeing your own words staring at you from the computer screen reminding you that you have not become the kind of person that you want to be, that you still have some personal history that no longer serves you to let go of and that this Art may not confer those gifts of insight and growth simply by showing up...

It gets worse. There are no Masters any more, nobody gets it. You have to be a Master to transmit the Art, therefore nobody has the right to teach. All the people going through the early stages with other teachers or styles at a lower level are wrong. Well my friends, I worked that area of the Mountain and was thankful to have some firm ground from which to progress until those temporary truths no longer served me. Eventually I moved on to truer systems and areas of the Mountain. Why would I deprive others of that experience; of their own experience? Many claim that Spiritual Progress is an emergent property of Authentic Taijiquan, they claim to be some of the very few to be doing Authentic Taiji and yet they are angry, judgmental, intolerant, close-minded, unkind and prejudiced. It’s an interesting juxtaposition and while I believe there is a time for righteous indignation and putting the disrespectful children in their place I don’t think you have to live there!

When I go to a party I don’t stand there wondering if this person I am speaking with is smarter than me or not. I see if we are having an interesting conversation or not. I’ve been bored to tears by those with greater intellectual prowess than me and been moved to tears by those who I could have easily dismissed as less intelligent. It should be the same in Push Hands, it’s not always a contest to see who can push whom. Actually that is the beginning level and you don’t learn as much there. I prefer the volley; catching and returning energy. I allow the flow to happen and find ourselves in cooperative and supportive roles regardless of how vigorous the level of play.

I would rather light a single candle to illuminate an idea than come to burn down the castle armed with torches and scripture. I try to conduct myself in class and out of class, as a teacher or a student in a way that would not prevent our studying together in the future. It takes a lot to cross that line. I write to see my thoughts from the other side so I can see what I think and what I need to work on next. The thing that helps keep everything in balance and not cross those lines is to keep it what it’s about - A Search for Self